YOUNG FOREVER for BTS!

I don't recall blogging how extremely proud i am with BTS. So here's a post for them:) *unleash fangirl beastXD*

I honestly don't get why some dubbed themselves as "*insert kpop band name* thrash"Like Thrash is not a very nice way of describing yourself as a fan.It's like calling the band as garbage and you take all their crap. Things that are thrash are things you do not want/bad that you want to throw away from your life. Like spoilt fruits,it used to be good but because nobody had consumed it,it became bad so you have to throw it away. So i do not call myself as EXOBTS thrash. Although i'm a full fledged ARMY and EXO-L,i do not title myself as their 'thrash'.

I'm gonna ramble alot for this blog partly because of the gifs/pics spam,so just skip to youtube and watch/tune in(while reading my blog hehe) FOREVER YOUNG MV!

Last checked 21/4/2016 10:33PM, number of views- (1theK 1,941,881) and (BigHit 1,091,812)

Here are the links!

1theK:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBj4y9Zibao

BigHit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbvE0FV_70U

I started noticing them only when i watched 'No More Dream' mv...well unlike EXO, BTS didn't have 24 teasers for a debut. I admit that i didn't fall in love with them straight away like Kai did to me. However i was really into their dance. Like holy shit their dance was something different compared to other kpop boy groups.






Love the dance. I had a little 'wtf' moment when i saw Rap Monster. Sorry RapMon! I hated the hair style and the weird looking shades he had.The one that looked like as if he had one strip of duct tape covering his eyes. His rap though was so powerful.Love his beats and how fast  he was rapping. (so far i only liked Eminem's rap style...) Not only RapMon's  rap that kept me replaying the mv but as well as Suga's and J-hope's. The visuals,V, and Jin. The strong vibe i got from Jimin and Jungkook. Their rap style and dance was the sole reason why i kept my tabs on them.So i had 50/50 thoughts on these guys.

(LOL RM. I wonder how he would feel seeing this when he's oldXD)


(OMG V...)

(Yes you shot my heart Jhobieeeeee!)


(I'm his Noona lol. Look at him being all cute then super manly the next second)

(Cutie Jiminieee!)

(Who knew this guy could be the most "princessy" guy hahahaXD)

I usually don't search up the lyrics of kpop songs but I was really intrigued by what the song/concept they have. Since it's not about a girl aka love song or not the typical 'trying to be fresh and cute' rookie band, so i wanted to know what they were saying about. I'M SO GLAD I DID MY SEARCH!
I was so in love with the lyrics that i became an instant fan(lol). Despite the odd fashion style(come on EXO had an alien concept),i supported them.

The band that have meaningful song.
And they still have meaningful songs up to this day.

I'm not that sure if "We Are Bulletproof pt2" is part of their debut thing but oh my god i couldn't stop watching the mv and the dance practice. Plus the strong lyrics is just a bonus!








Starting off their SCHOOL TRILOGY with No More Dream, they continue to impress me with their comeback N.O. Again with the cool choreo and powerful lyrics.





AND OMG RAPMON LOOK SO HOT HERE!




BTS ended off their School Trilogy with 'Boy In Luv'. I think i prefer neat and sleek style on guys as i  instantly fell in love with guys in suits/neat school uniform. Like just look at BTS (and exo in growlXD) *insert heart shape eyes*




Can't stop re-watching their dance practice and i'm not even into doing dance coversXD




Impressive trilogy they had is all i can say.

They made a comeback with more love centric songs, 'Danger' then 'War of Hormone'. I was absolutely impressed with their live performance. I mean yea i was impressed wayy before but seeing them in Danger era made me feel their idol vibe way stronger than before. Like i don't get the rookie band feels. So i was really pumped for their live stage. Especially during MAMA cuz omg Baekhyun from EXO finally have a selfie with his look-a-like Taehyung aka V. Baek even danced/sang along when BTS was performing. Cutie baek! Just check out the endless fancams of him:)






My feels for EXOBTS ~~~~


'War of Hormone',I'm not a huge fan of it BUT! Their live stage was to die for! Each member had a chance to showcase a few seconds of their charms. Like so effin cute.I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE YOU GUYS TO WATCH  THEIR LIVE STAGE!! It's adorbssss! Another thing i like about BTS in this era is how satisfied i was when i looked at everyone's styles. And V's hair colour was really nice!

Jimin though...lol

Same guy different vibe hahahahahaXD


I know that HYYH trilogy is little seperated due to having a comeback with DOPE. So I will spam dope gifs/pics first then the TRILOGY:) Dope was probably the main reason why BTS gained more international fans like 'virgin' kpop fans. You know new kpop fans who doesn't know a single thing but became a fan after watching something impressive. Yea. Dope was probably the biggest internationally recognized song/choreo for BTS. More people were impressed with the beat and the sick dance moves:)!!








DOPE indeed.

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MOMENT IN LIFE/HYYH TRILOGY.
Ok BigHit has so much brain capacity. Like did you guys know of how LONG and MANY clues left that hinted the continuation song title/album concept. Holy guacamole it's ALOT. Like from graffiti doodles,fake body tattoos,in MVs there's so so so so many hints. My brain was about to burst. Other than the mind twisting game BigHit had us played, the strong and powerful meaning of this trilogy had me questioned my life several times. It's great lyrics. Not just the main track but as well as other tracks in all the albums. Melodic voice,strong rap,fun and upbeat songs, there's a variety of music styles.

The main and exciting part of this trilogy is actually interpreting the story. There's so many interpretations that i found on the internet. Too many to say so i could just suggest to google search itXD. I've never experience a moment where i try to solve a maze that seem to have to no end. It's a genius marketing plan really. While the school trilogy is more straightforward, HYYH trilogy is so meaningful and deep for us to get it right away.

ARMYs had to rewatch several MV and live performances to gather more hints. Like seriously guys,there's tons of it(you'd be surprised).

Unfortunately,i couldn't get hold of any of the trilogy albums,YET. But i hope to get it with signatures(so that is worth keeping)...I'll see how it goes. Myabe i could get Young forever? I don't know it's very pricey now.

Part 1
The vibe i got from the first main song for this trilogy, was happiness in the midst of sadness.The mv has more 'drama-like' style hence the choreo was not shown in the mv. Which made me super duper excited for the live stage. And yet again my heart burst with happiness and satisfaction seeing them:) Their choreo for I NEED U made my eyes glued on them the whole performance. It was hard to even pick a gif to show some of my favorite part as the WHOLE dance is my favorite.














Part 2
Once again BTS killed me. The vibe i got from part 2 is happiness within sadness.There were more happy scenes than I NEED U. Again,the mv is 'drama like' so no choreo was shown. If I NEED U was impressive this was a lil bit toned down. Like the dance is more 'soft' compared to the previous one. Nonetheless still effin awesome.















FINALLY IT'S PART 3
YOUNG FOREVER
Omg the MV was out without the teaser? I'm not sure but i was told that BigHit hinted that they were going to drop a teaser but no.....BigHit drop THE MV. lol. But yea i was resurrected. I watched the MV already and comapred to I NEED U and RUN. When i watched the MV at arnd 1 or 2 plus am,i felt so light. Freedom. Like after the depressing moments in their life they are now free from their misery. Like the other two mvs,no choreo was shown. THAT MAKES ME SUPER DUPER EXCITED for the live performance ahhhhh~! There were rumors that BigHit is releasing 3 MVs for the epilogue. So if FOREVER YOUNG is out,does that mean there would be 2 more MVs? Ok BigHit.Ok.

WATCH THE MV GUYS!!






Well they haven't have comeback stage for YOUNG FOREVER so there's not much to say/show. Hope to blog about it soon:)! Till then,ciao~!

p.s look at Suga's hair. It matches with the trilogy albums hahhaXD

Hardest thing to write about...

I'm a lost girl teenager.I missed so many opportunities to get back to the right path.I just got more lost.

Although i knew the sins i've committed,i still did it.Whenever i thought of all the sins that must have accumulated to mountains,i felt so guilty.I know what's in store for me the moment i close my eyes forever. 

It scared me that some times i just felt like giving up in life and to accept the express ticket to hell.It scared me that i could the sinful things but yet i still felt a little guilty.I'm scared of death not because i may not have time to achieve life goals but i'm terrified that i may not have the time to get back to Him.I'm so scared that He'd take my last breathe before i could atone for my sins.

I want to get back to him.I researched ways on how i could my spirituality back but my inner demons are holding me back.I sound crazy.But i know that i have demons in me that my brain is controlling.Sometimes i lie down and wondering what to do and it always always left me with two choices.Commit more sins or getting away from committing more sins.It's always a battle in my brain. 

This battles scares me to no end. Some nights i get so scared by my own thoughts that i don't even dare to close or even blink my eyes.I'm that terrified.There are also times that i think i might be a crazy person because of how i leading my life and presenting who i am to others.I want to get help but i just can't seem to be daring enough to open my mouth.

I'm so embarrassed not by humans because technically people who knows me doesn't know about this problem i have because i never dared to open my mouth,but i'm embarrassed towards the angels,prophets and most importantly the Almighty.I just want to run and hide but He knows everything about us hidden or not.

I need to get back on the right path.

I FAILED yet again. I did the same mistakes again and again.
When the urge came to me,i brushed aside the "angel" side of me and
gave in to temptation.I need help ASAP.I need proper guidance.

Although i can seek help from my parents,i don't feel good knowing that they are way too personal.I just find it embarrassing.I can't face them if they know.I just want to improve without having to deal with my family at all.I just want to avoid conflicts. I don't them to say things like,"You're not trying
hard enough.You're still not reaching up to Him.Talk to Him.Spend more time communicating to Him rather than listening all these Kpop songs.Go read the religious books instead of all these Kpop news/stories.ETC." Believe me,it'll get to my nerves and i would eventually try to shut them out of my life if that ever happens.And that is not good news.

I want to make sure whatever i do in terms of improving my spirituality, a secret from my family.I want them to see and feel the change in me rather than monitoring me.I get that they would annoy me by reminding me to pray etc is their way of showing their support.But i don't think i can handle the irritation.I want to be discipline in my spirituality regime.I don't want to feel dependent.

I'm doing a terrible job right now.But i'll not give up.

I want to live my life without fearing the death that is unforeseeable.I want to be able to close my eyes and not be scared of my fate when i open my eyes to face the present day.

My ultimate goal is to be close to him and atone for my sins. Amin.

KAISTAL DATING? Awww my little ballerino has found his ballerina!

HI KIM KAI,

Yesterday(31st march) i got the news that i got accepted to Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts.I cried so much.I was expecting the worst outcome due to my not so impressive grades but i got in. So happy that i'm on my way to achieve my dreams.Today(1st april) i received the news of 'KAISTAL'. I'm so happy to know that my ultimate bias has found his lady,got so emotional that i cried once again. Happy tears!! Although you won't read this but C O N G R A T S! My little ballerino has found his ballerina. Maybe a collaboration? Hehehe

I've been your fan since 20111221. 

I don't know you personally(kind of wished i did but let's be realistic)

but watching you from then till now,it made me feel closer to you.Although i couldn't go to Korea for your fanmeets/concerts etc,i spent most of my savings buying from online blogshops to get my albums/photo books signed to my name.Yes i spent over and above $300 just for your signatures and signing off to my name.One of you guys signed my name wrongly though... My name is NurFalah but it got changed to Narfalah for my diejungs. It's a cute mistake so thanks:) I'm sorry,my collection of your EXODUS and LMR is not complete! One day i'll complete it,i promise.Anddd i didn't go for EXOLUXION #1 AND #2 in Singapore.I'm such a terrible fan. I just didn't have time to go and oh my mum didn't let me go to work so i was also short of cash.Next time,i promise okays! I admire you so much Um i'm not a creepy girl who wished i got in his pants that i  see you as inspiration 

not as an idol.

 I had my lowest of time in school when i was in Year 1 of high school. I was so emotionally unstable. I blame teen hormones. I was depressed most of the time.It was so hard for me to talk it out with people. I'm not close with my family. I didn't believe in friendships. So i had no one to have the "heart to heart" talk. I kept everything to myself and i survived without inflicting pain to myself.Well i did get some canning from my dad but i deserved it so i'm fine with it.No,my dad is not a drunkard/abusive,he was just doing his job as a father,that is to discipline me.

I survived the loneliness and depression because of you and EXO. Watching your MVs,dance practices,interviews,variety/reality shows etc etc.Seeing you and EXO doing what you guys are passionate about,encouraged me to have hope in myself. Hope to be able to be stronger and achieve my dreams. The more i watch you guys,the bigger my hope became. My biggest dream is to be able to plan out and be involved in EXO's concert. Hope to see you soon.Maybe we can have we-fies! (we-fies are selfies but just a group selfies) With this new determination,hope and courage, i managed to become a better me so thank you for being my lifesaver!

You and EXO mean so much to me that i'm sure you guys would still be my greatest inspiration even when you and i go all wrinkly old.To me your happiness is my biggest award. So stay happy and healthy. Till next time Kai:)

Hugs and kisses more hugs,

Fals:)

P.s One day i would master the korean language and write another long letter to pass it to you during a fanmeet! Wait for me~!

Life goes on,no matter what!

It's hard to be in my shoes now. When things don't go your way,you either breakdown and cry or you could just work with it. And i decided to head on face it. There are pros and cons facing harsh reality of the world but i somehow feels better knowing i had managed to passed the terrains and still mentally/emotionally stable. Sometimes when my friends share their life troubles i can't relate to them in terms of their emotions and thought. All i could say is,

"Well you could just face it and learn from it instead of digging your own grave just to avoid it."

I don't get why they can't face it and let emotions rule them. Be strong. Oh don't give me reasons like

"I tried my best"
"Everyone is against me"
"It's just me against the world."
"Nobody would support me.They're all liars and backstabbers."
"They always talk crap about me."
"Everybody expects me to fail."
etc etc etc.

I'm a teenager too.I know what it's like to be in the lowest time of your life. Letting your inner fire in you die out slowly till only ashes are left. It did happen to me. I wished i was living another person's life.I always come up with imaginary stories to keep myself sane,away from the troubling thoughts.

I used to have best friends almost like sisters that i could talk to. But as i grow older,i realized there's no such title as 'best friends' (i'm sorry if i offend people by saying this). I'm going to save that story for future blog post. Ever since my disbelief for 'best friends' i viewed friends just friends no special title given. The only difference is that whether that friend of mine is close to me or not.

When i was facing life's harsh realities and diving rock bottom in my life,it was hard for me to open up and talk about my depressing story to my close friends and even my family. I just feel utmost uncomfortable to have this heart to heart talk with anyone. I had mostly told them vague things of my current self then. How did i ever managed to cope?

I found my escape.
Not drugs.
 Not sex.
Not alcoholic drinks.
Not smoking.
Not cutting myself.
Not talking to people.
No counselor.
No family members.
 And most importantly no friends.

It was hard to keep things to myself. There were times i wished i could sleep away from the troubles and wake up with a fresh page but of course that  never happened. However,it's amazing how i found myself getting better through seeing others' life.

My escape was and still is KPOP. Yes it really is my escape from reality. Somehow when i watch kpop related things, i felt encouraged to face my reality,slowly. Step by step. Variety shows,fancams,gossips,interviews,drama etc you name it, there are all my go to things to immerse myself into. Seeing them do things they passionately live for somehow heals my broken heart. Although it may just be in forms of bandages and plasters around my heart,it helped me. I become stronger by helping myself. I settled to fixing myself with the help of fantasy rather than having people reside in my heart. I'm glad i was into KPOP rather than other harmful things.

Other than KPOP i had found another form of freedom for myself. That is fanfictions. Kpop idols as characters in a story line you would want to read,uh yes please! It may just be a fantasy of others but there are just some stories that were wonderfully written that i could actually relate to. There are so many genres to explore! So many story plots to read! It's just really great to put yourself in different character's shoes.It makes me understand my emotions and thoughts. Sometimes it taught me how to let go of things that is hurting me,even if the thing is making my life more bearable.

The little escape adventures of mine made who i am today. Stronger,independent and mature. Of course there will be times where you trip and fall again but it shouldn't make you crippled. Take it as a chance for you to improve as a better person. 

Because of the self-healing i did, i missed out a lot of things from others. Like how my friends can't find the 'go to friend to talk to when they need some comforting' from me. I'm fine with it. I don't know how to help them go through 100% either. I think because of how i am now,i may have offended others by replying them nonchalantly. I may have been the least responsive girl but i do listen well because every one wants to be listened to when they talk. They deserve a listening ear.

I'm more reserved and quiet when it comes to personal topic. I would skirt around  it when asked about it. I'm not some emotional wreck,like i said kpop and fanfics take my misery off. So i don't put up some stupid facade. HOW CAN YOU YOLO IF YOU LIVE IN PRETENCE!

People are putting on 'masks' so that they can show how they're 'fine' to others. Um sorry but why you do that? What benefits do you get? Do you feel good after taking off that 'masks'? I know i offended people by saying this. I may seem that typical happy go lucky always positive bitch that have her life smooth sailing. Well newsflash, i'm not that bitch.

We all have that phase where emotions are the best thing to depend on. You can't let emotions rule what you think you should do. The equation does work like that. I figured out that if you question yourself

"If i do that/this,will i be happy? will i be the better me?"  helps in decision making. Your emotions and your thinking must go together so you are mentally and emotionally prepared for anything that might crash land your plans. When you are prepared,it's easier to pick yourself up and try again,maybe with different method but with the same goal. Don't depend on just one to three choices. Keep your options open. There's no road closure in the life you're living. It's just roads that are incomplete. 

If it helps,start with having the some constant goals. Like for me, my constant goal is that i would pick myself up and face challenges head on with a stronger me.

Have hope. It's the best life support for you when you fall down. When you fall,you may be lonely at the pits of some hole you buried yourself in.With no one but yourself,the next best thing to count on is hope. It's like a slap for your heart and mind. Hope feeds your heart with courage and mind with a sense of determination. Better to have hope rather than your painkillers.

Face it. You're never going to be perfect.Not in a million years. It's up to you on how you want to let imperfections rule you. Let it kill you or let it be your most unique part of yourself. Work with imperfections as you would with your significant other. Don't look at it as an enemy,it'd only let feeds you inner devil to implement self hatred,setting off the bomb in you.Waiting for the bomb to finally tick you off and ok i'll just stop it there.

When you live your life,have time outs for yourself. Just stop for a moment and do a reality check. Check your emotions and thoughts. Make sure they're are in sync. When you're alone,it doesn't that you're lonely,it just mean that you have some time to pamper yourself. Just talking to yourself and looking back at your life. Ensure that you're still stable.

There will be regrets in any one's life. I have my regrets. However, i can't turn back time and slap my stupid self then. But what i can do is slap myself time to time now just to remind how stupid i was then. It helps me waking up from being depressed really.

Like my title, life merely goes on. There's no pause,stop,reverse and fast forward buttons for you to press. You don't have that power to do it. Don't let anything hold you down from living your life.

Fall.Stand back up. Live.Change positively. 

Remember that.

Jessica Jung's SOLO ALBUM

Just one word,proud.

I'll admit i'm not really a SONE (SNSD'S fandom and last 'member') but i do respect them. They're legends. They deserve every bit of respect and recognition. However it's hard for me to be into a girl group. I don't know it's just hard for me to like them 24/7(no hate here please) Is it just me? A girl who can't get into girl groups and rookies as well. Maybe cause EXO and BTS have already resided in my heart and brain....

ANYWAYS!!

I heard she's releasing an album soon and i'm excited for it. Hahaha i'm surprised myself.
Like how can you hate such photogenic woman?



I want to support her shop, Blanc and Eclare, but hahaha the price of her stuff can buy me 30 cups of bubble teas. So expensive. Maybe in the future when i earned more moneyXD!






(Gawd i need to watch this chinese show where Kris,exo's former member/leader, and jessica was the guests. Hard to find with eng sub but does not mean i'm not looking hahaXD)




My new ship i guess,KriSica/FanSica ? Yea i just ship them~:)

Yea she's pretty. And when she was a member of SNSD, her singing skills are pretty good. She got visuals, singing abilities and come on her dance skills can't be THAT bad. I'm really looking forward to her album. I hope she's healthy and happy always. And in your face SM ent! She could be an idol as well as a fashion designer if she wants too! Just watch her prove it to you! #ibelieveinyouJessicaJung

Such rare occasion of me getting excited for a former member of a girl group,SNSD, Jessica's album, this blog post is worth my time typing:)